There used to be a time that I would wake up well before I had to get ready for work, enjoy my coffee and spend time writing. That time was not so long ago, but these past several months, things have been different. I have been distracted. I have been busy. I have been stressed. As I type that, it sure sounds like a bunch of excuses, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t the truth.
My work life has been so overloaded that I have not been taking any time for myself. Besides not writing, I haven’t been exercising (in part due to a broken toe), my eating habits have gotten out of control, and I’m sorely overdue for a hair cut and color. I find myself staring at my un-manicured nail beds each day with disgust, determined to finally get that manicure or do it myself – only to put it off over and over again. I go to the office early, sit at a desk all day without a break, and come home late with more work still to do before bed. It’s no wonder I can’t sleep well – and don’t even get me started on the anxiety that is through the roof these days. Sure, I still wake up early each morning, but when I open my laptop, I log on to catch up on emails because my inbox is constantly out of control. I have become a workaholic, not because I thrive on it, but because it necessary.
The act of avoiding opening my email is still haunting me as I type this, but I feel some actual relief for not doing so.
I am struggling with how to fix this, how to make a change, but I do not have the answer yet. One might say “get a new job” – but the solution is not a simple as that for a variety of reasons. I do know that I am starting feel concerned for my general well-being and even my health, so something has to give. Today I will start by doing one thing for myself, one thing besides taking the time to write this. That was a huge step in itself! The act of avoiding opening my email is still haunting me as I type this, but I feel some actual relief for not doing so. I do not yet know what the one thing is that I will do for myself, but I do have some ideas, and I will most certainly report back.
Getting back to me starts today.